Thursday, July 17, 2014


I have naturally curly hair.  I wasn't born with it.  When I was little, I had hair as straight as anyone else's.  And then, back in the 80s when perms were all the rage, I jumped on that particular bandwagon and had the Annie hairstyle (I haven't burned the pictures yet).  As the weeks and months passed, the curls just never went away.  Now, 30 years later, I still have that same perm.

Since I didn't inherit my curls via DNA, nobody in my family knew how to handle my ... hair.  For decades, I struggled with how to manage the unruly mess of corkscrews, soft curls, and waves which fell as they wanted.  Hundreds of dollars were spent on products with the hope that something would make my tangles turn into something that was remotely un-horrible.

Along the way, I learned some important lessons: Don't wash your hair more than once every other day (curly hair is naturally dry, and washing it only aggravates the problem).  Just because a product didn't work as you expected, don't give up on it.  Try more or less, try wet or dry.  And for the love of all that is good and holy DON'T brush your hair when it's dry.  Combine this with washing your hair every other day, and you're looking at brushing your hair once every other day.  I've come to terms with this, and I don't brush my hair anymore.  On the mornings when I wash my hair, I slide a comb through my wet mop just to get the few knots out and that's it.

Last night, my boyfriend said he wanted to brush my hair.  The terror instantly filled me.  "NO-O-O-O-O!" I wanted to scream in the primal way of a bad actress in a B-Horror flick.  "I don't brush my hair," I replied to him as calmly as I could muster amidst the fear running through my veins. 

"Please?" he simply requested.

How could I refuse that?  "I think I have a brush," I lamely said as I walked to the bathroom.  Ratting through the drawer which housed unused items like that hair removal system I bought at the Christmas festival four years back and the tub of lotion my mother bought but never used so she gave to me, I found my brush which had antiquated lint and ancient strands of hair woven through the thick plastic bristles.  With visions of a thoroughly tugged scalp (I had driven with my car windows down all day) and of hair too wide to make it through the door, I walked the paddle brush down the hall into my impending doom.

In a very intimate way, he instructed me to sit with my back to him on the bed, his legs nestling beside mine.  I worked really hard to not let my body language reflect the trepidation I was experiencing.  Nobody had brushed my dry hair since I was a small girl.  No man had ever brushed my hair.  I didn't know how to react to what was about to happen.

Carefully, lovingly, he took the first stroke. When he reached the first tangle, he removed the brush instead of ripping through it as my mother had done when I was young.  With time, patience, and tenderness, he worked his way through all of the knots, leaving a silky smooth feel as he lowered the brush over and over down the length of my hair.

As he did so, I found myself in a blissful, other-worldly state.  I understood what cats feel like as they purr.  The sheer physical pleasure I took from that small action was comparable to a really good massage.  This man, who loves me, was spoiling me in a way no man had ever done, and it was exquisite!

Was it because I allowed it?  Was it because I trust him?  Was it because he enjoys sharing intimate moments with me?  Was it because he wanted to spoil me?

Whatever the reason, I hope it happens again.

I was careful to not look in a mirror after the experience.  That would have just ruined it for me!

Wednesday, July 16, 2014

Last First Kiss

Every girl wants that first kiss to be magical.  The moon is full, the stars are aligned, and Prince Charming is standing in front of you.  A light breeze blows your hair softly back from your face as he reaches up to hold your cheek lovingly in his hand.  His lips touch yours - just a touch - before he pulls back to look into your eyes.  Seeing the stars within, he closes his eyes and dips his head again to press his lips with slightly more pressure against yours, your body being drawn to his magnetically.  When he pulls back, being the gentleman that he is, he smiles tenderly at you and gently says, "Good night."  He waits on the stoop as you unlock your front door and let yourself in, waving slowly to you before you close the door.  The wings on your feet carry you upstairs to your bed where you know you will dream about that life-changing kiss.

Unfortunately, the reality is nothing like the fantasy.  Most men aren't Prince Charming.  Heck, most men aren't even Duke Tolerable.  They are fumbling, bumbling idiots.  Romantic gestures and tender moments are lost on them.

Some will just rush in and try to force a kiss on you, whether you want them to or not.  With one of my dates, I just kept backing up until I was pinned against my car door.  I had hoped he would take the hint that I didn't want him to kiss me. 

Some men will try to kiss you at the wrong time.  I had one date who tried to kiss me 10 minutes after meeting him.  He wanted to kick the tires, so to speak, and see if there was any reason to continue.  After 10 minutes, it's just not there for me, so it won't be in my kiss, y'know? 

There are men who will ask if you want them to kiss you.  Mood killer, anyone?

And then there are the men who are such pansies that they won't even kiss you at all.  I went out with one guy who asked beforehand (online) if he could kiss me on our date.  I told him I would probably like that (we had great rapport online).  When the date ended and it came time - nothing!

And then I had my last first kiss.  I still get a bit emotional, just thinking about it.  We met online and hit it off right away.  Since he was so amazing (and interested in me) I was sure he was a scammer.  I just knew he was going to cancel on me.  When he actually showed up, I was quite surprised!  And it only got better from there.

We played mini-golf, having a fabulous time through the entire course.  When we arrived at the 18th hole, he asked if I was ready to call it a night or if I wanted to play another round.  Since I was enjoying his company so much, I agreed to another round.  After completing the course again, we found that neither of us wanted the evening to end, so we agreed to dinner.  Dinner was spectacular, and the food was pretty good, too.  Still not ready to part at the end of the meal, we went to the nearby chocolate shop for some truffles and hot cocoa.  When we finally looked away from each other for a moment, we realized that the young women behind the counter were trying to close up for the night, so we quickly left, thanking them for being patient with us.

We had parked side by side in the mall parking garage, so we walked back to our vehicles together.  I stood at the end of my silver-blue sedan while he leaned against the end of his white Jeep, the conversation still working it's magic between us. 

Amidst the chatter, my inner monologue was going crazy.  Is he going to kiss me?  Is he not?  I really want him to kiss me.  Do I tell him?  Is he going to?  He's so amazing - I've never wanted a man to kiss me this badly before.  Should I walk over there to make it easier for him?

As if he had read my thoughts, he strode toward me, silently, purposefully.  The masculinity with which he had approached me was exciting and sexy.  A small electric thrill raced up my spine, knowing that he was going to kiss me.  When he reached me, he slowed, giving me time to tip my head to allow him to reach down to touch my lips with his own.  The contact brought a mixture of relief and excitement.  He was gentle and romantic, slow and sweet.

To my utter horror and complete elation, he stepped back after three innocent kisses, saying that he wanted to stop there before we reached a point where we couldn't stop.  By doing so, he let me know that he did want more from me (which was flattering) but that he didn't want to rush things (which proved to me that he's the kind of man I want).

This was a few weeks ago.  Since then, we've shared a number of kisses.  In fact, we're planning on spending the rest of our lives together.  I am exquisitely pleased that I will forever have the memory of that moment as my last first kiss.